BRUMMAGEM MAIL
FREAK STORM BATTERS DUDLEY CASTLE
Weathermen baffled; damage minimal

In scenes reminiscent of The X-Files and Doctor Who, the region's iconic Dudley Castle was last night the victim of a sudden and highly localised storm. The freak weather conditions, which included sleet and strong winds, lasted no more than an hour, but left nearby residents shaken by their ferocity.

Meteorologists were at a loss to explain the storm. Speaking to the Brummagem Mail, Tony Devlin of the Met Office attempted to place blame on a series of low-pressure pockets moving across the region. However, when pressed, Devlin eventually admitted that weathermen had “no bloody idea” where the storm had come from. Global warming was also dismissed as an unlikely culprit.

Damage to the Castle, which dates back to Norman times, is thought to be minimal, but local residents reported minor damage to shopfronts and gardens. Keepers at neighbouring Dudley Zoo spent much of the morning calming their animals, before reopening the attraction in the early afternoon. Head zookeeper Jon Crutchley symbolised the general reaction to the day's events: “First the Dudley Dorito, now this. What's next: little green men?”

The Martian ambassador was unavailable for comment.

Fret Frenulum, Monday 16th July 2007

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